Monday, July 12, 2010

Gone but not forgotten

In January, I informed some of you of Kasey’s diagnosis of intestinal lymphoma. At that time small tumors were found in the liver, small intestine, & lymph nodes. Over the past 2 weeks, Kasey has had more bad days than good. Over the holiday weekend, she went into further decline. She was hardly eating & hiding more frequently. Kasey was always my low-profile cat, but she was hiding in places that I had never seen her hide. This past Monday was the last time she willingly came to sit with me.

On Tuesday morning, I purchased 4 new bags of kibble in an attempt to stimulate her appetite & she ate maybe a teaspoon. I even tried canned food mixed with chicken broth which she ignored (Kasey never cared for canned food). When I stretched out on the living room rug, she came to sit by me very briefly. I gave Kasey some rotisserie chicken, but that stayed down less than an hour & she refused all food on Tuesday night.

On Wednesday morning, I could not find Kasey. Just as I was leaving for work, I found her huddled under the pie safe (I had never seen her there). Since I had an appointment with the vet Wednesday afternoon, I put her in the master bath with a comfy towel & water.

Kasey had lost a pound since her last visit (about 2 months ago). Dr Nicole could tell Kasey’s stomach was hurting when she palpitated it. Dr Nicole ran an ultrasound & found a large tumor on the liver & pancreas that was pushing against the stomach. An additional tumor was found on her right kidney. Dr Nicole said this cancer is very aggressive & there was nothing more that could be done other than make her easy. She & I agreed it was time to let Kasey rest & cross the Rainbow Bridge. The last few months have been hard knowing this decision would need to be made, but it did not make it any easier.

In order to give Kasey more time to eat undisturbed, she had been eating her meals in the master bath for several months. This morning, Riley, Kasey’s littermate, came into the bathroom & just stood staring at the ceiling. At first, I thought a bug had gotten in the house, but I could see no bug. I looked at Riley & he was still staring at the ceiling. I asked him if it he saw Kasey & Riley continued to stare. Finally, he looked away & walked out of the bathroom. To quote author Eleanor Farjeon: “It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I cannot see.”

My shy, skitty girl left her pawprints on my heart. I will miss her kittenish face & her nightly cuddling. I will miss her playing with the toy mice & hiding beneath the bedspread to escape detection by visitors (pay no attention to the lump in the bed).

April 1996-July 2010

God's Garden Must Be Beautiful
God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So He wrapped His arms around you,
And whispered, "Come to Me".

You didn't deserve what you went through,
So He gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only picks the best.

And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain,
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.

~ Author Unknown~